Robert L. Bacon
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My name is Robert L. (Rob) Bacon, and I am the founder of The Perfect Write®, a professional editorial service. My blog is open to anyone who is interested in a free opening-chapter critique (material up to 5,000 words) and serious about writing creative fiction at a level that would be appealing to a major royalty publisher or quality indie. I am committed to supporting writers in all genres and welcome comments on the material and critiques I provide for this forum.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
"The Bronze Horsemen"
Opening Chapter
By Dave Mallegol
Chapter 1: Eastern Europe:
3,000 BC
I am Daven, head of the Horse Clan and lead hunter for all of
the Botai. Since you are interested, I am happy to tell you of my people and
the adventures that take place during the next year, but first, here is what I remember about early
life in my village.
Screams woke
me and my father early one morning. It was dawn when the men with the red
armbands attacked our village for the third time this year. Our villagers were
in panic as they ran from their burning houses. I was afraid I might be killed
when I came out and saw the Smolens leader. He was the same man who had killed
my mother on the last raid. I recognized the fresh scar that ran from his scalp
across his right cheek to the point on his chin. It was my father who cut his
face as they fought hand to hand with knives the last time we were attacked.
I was nine
years old at the time and armed with a boy's bow. It was far from effective
against two dozen hardened raiders. Still, I fired an arrow with a flint tip
and struck the one with the scar on his face in his right shoulder. He laughed
at the wound I inflicted and raised his hatchet to kill me, when a woman named
Ruth pulled me away from the fight. We ran with the rest of the women and
children, led by an elder named Emma. My father killed two of those men with
red armbands before he himself was killed that day.
My friend
Bruno was ten years old and a big kid for his age. He fought alongside my
father and grandfather and killed one raider and wounded two others as the
marauders ran between our pit houses, setting more fires. When it was over, several
of our homes were ruined and three more Horse Clan members were dead. A year ago the Horse Clan had twenty-two
people, but after the latest hit-and-run attack by the Smolens, there were just
sixteen of us left, and only six men, including Bruno, who could fight. They
did their damage and killing and retreated as fast as they came.
That night, Sandor, who we call the Oldson or chief, called our small band together. His features were rigid as stone and he raised his arms to be sure he had our full attention. “The Smolens are too many and too powerful for us to fight any longer. We have no choice if we are to survive. We must leave our homes and move.” He waited for a response or an argument, but there was none. His people knew they had no choice.
Sandor spoke
again. He nodded to his friend and
companion, Tedd, and said, “Tedd has located a new land on the other side of
the Ural Mountains. The new land has plenty of
grain, a good supply of salt, fruits and berries and horses to hunt. It will be
hard work and a long trip. I see no other choice. The best thing about the new
lands is that the Smolens will never find us. This brought smiles and a voice
of approval.
“Tedd and I will attend the summer gathering. With any luck we
will be able to convince our relatives in the Bear Clan and the Aurochs Clan to
unite with us. They have also been under attack by the Smolens, and their
numbers are reduced from last year as ours are.” Sandor glanced around at his
audience. “If we continue to live here as an independent clan, we do not have
enough hunters to defend ourselves. As leader of the Horse Clan, I will take
you to a safer place on the other side of the mountains. That is my decision.
We leave tomorrow and we will not return. The trip will be difficult. I caution
each of you to bring only what you can carry.”
The
announcement was a shock. No one wanted
to leave our territory because of the crops we had planted and the plentiful
animals to hunt, but everyone realized there was no choice. We left twenty years
ago. The first winter was very hectic, with
building pit houses and hunting what we could before the harsh weather set in. We ate what we had been able to gather or kill
in a relatively short time, and there was little meat for our stew pots. Luckily, the winter was mild and of short
duration for once, and we made it to spring without losing anyone else.
That spring, the Bear Clan joined up with us in our new home, and the Aurochs Clan soon followed. Both had fought the Smolens during the winter and lost those battles to superior numbers. Like us, each clan had been reduced significantly from the preceding year. Abandoning their villages was also the only option left to them.
Our
settlement is located on a branch of the Ob that runs north to an ocean some
call the Arctic. We are south and east of the Ural Mountains, probably two hundred miles or so from the
Smolens. South of our village are
grasslands that run from east to west for a thousand miles, maybe more. No one
really knows. What we do know is that
there are wild horses in those grasslands, and they will provide the meat we
need to survive.
Tedd likes this
location for several reasons. Of greatest significance, there is fresh water
and salt for meat preservation. Because our village is on a sharp bend in the
river, the water runs faster here and remains unfrozen all winter. As an added
advantage, our village is situated on high ground, so we avoid spring floods.
The area has adequate supplies of fruits and vegetables growing naturally in
the area. No other people live close to us, thus there is no longer a need to
fight to hold our territory. With the dreaded Smolens out of the picture, we
have no enemies and few dangers other than an occasional bear or mountain lion
that might roam too close. Of course, there are always wolves in the area if
someone gets careless.
The weather
has already cooled as we approach the late summer. Horse hunts are a group
effort involving all three clans. Two hunts will not meet our needs for a typical
brutal winter, during which temperatures drop to thirty or forty degrees below
zero and stay there for months at a time. We have already been successful with
two hunts and this will be our third. A fourth will follow.
Gathering peas, lentils, berries, mushrooms, and wheat has become part of everyday life in the fall for our women, but without horse meat we would not survive the last two months of winter, those we used to call "the starving months." Before we learned to hunt horses effectively, we often saw the oldest and youngest of our people starve to death as winter wore on. I am told by Tedd and Emma, our oldest members that the total number of clan members has generally never increased. Starvation always held our population to a small group. Since the three clans joined together as one people, the hope is that we will develop better gathering and hunting methods and our food supply will improve.
Our women
already have good supplies of most of what we need, except for gooseberries,
raspberries and blueberries. Berries are essential to make pemmican, a
combination of peas, berries and horsemeat packed into horse intestines and then
smoked to preserve them. Pemmican is eaten as a cold meal on long horse hunts
like the one I am planning. It is a crucial
staple, since campfire smoke would be smelled from a long distance away by horses,
alarming them and sending them deeper into the grasses where we would have no chance
to hunt them.
In the Botai,
as the three clans are called collectively, it is not unusual to have women
included as hunters; actually it is quite common. They have to pass the same
tests as the men, except for lesser requirements with the spear and Atlatl for
which males have more natural shoulder strength. Our hunts this year have
included three females along with four males who just came of age and passed
the skills tests. Hunters, whether they are men or women, are the most respected
clan members. As the lead hunter, I live for this time of year.
As I indicated
in the beginning, the chief of a clan is called the Oldson. He usually inherits
his title as the oldest son of the past leader and takes over when his father
passes away or steps down due to age or injury. Upon inheriting the title from
his father, Sandor rarely used his original name again. Since the other clans
joined us at our new location, their clan leaders deferred to Sandor, and he is
chief over all three clans.
Normally the
Oldson attends the hunters' meeting to offer advice and encouragement to the hunters,
especially the newer ones, because if new hunters perform well during all four
hunts, they become full clan members and can take a wife. Due to Sandor’s
advanced age of 40, he is no longer able to take part in the hunts himself.
Mostly he
spends his time counseling people who have disputes, regardless of if it is a man
and his wife or if it involves members from different clans. Many issues are
trivial and could be settled without him. Since he can no longer hunt, he has
time on his hands and has gotten involved with minor issues as well as major disagreements. The reason he did not attend the hunters
meeting this time has nothing to do with handling disputes, or his age.
He severely cut his foot while going to the scat pit during a moonless night. The injured foot became infected and has not healed. In truth, it has gotten worse, and our clan is worried that he might not survive this injury. Sandor has been our respected and beloved leader for almost twenty years, ever since the Smolens killed his father and both my parents.
He takes his
time with decisions, whether they are between individuals or something bigger
that might affect two clans or the whole village. When he makes a judgment it
is final, and most often the parties are satisfied. I do not envy his getting
in the middle of family arguments and clan disputes.
Being a hunter, I have no interest in settling
petty arguments. I would only be comfortable deciding those issues that affect
the Botai people as a whole. My hope, as with everyone else, is that he
recovers by the time we return from this hunt.
Before we
departed, I led the discussion regarding travel and the overnight camping
rules. Bruno, head of the Bear Clan, and Janos, head of the Aurochs Clan,
helped with the planning. Each took part, but it was my plan overall. When we
hunt horses, we wear horsehide clothes and look like horses. Since human sweat
gives off such a strong smell, we wash before we leave. My thinking is that it
is better to smell like a horse if you are hunting one.
We also bring
horse manure in sacks that are traditionally carried by the youngest hunters.
This rite always draws minor complaints, but the young hunters become the
experienced hunters in a year and do not have to carry manure for more than one
season. As we travel, the manure ripens and smells worse. By the time we arrive
at the hunt site, we all smell like horse droppings. It can get to be pretty
bad. Yet, just before the start of the hunt, to be certain all of our natural
scents are masked, we rub manure on any exposed skin.
On the
morning of the hunt we ate an early meal and set out at daybreak. We have been
walking and running for four hours and my mind wanders to memories from the
past. I will always remember learning so much of what I know about hunting and
fishing from Tedd, who is actually my uncle and two years senior to the
Oldson. At 42, he is considered ancient.
Uncle Tedd
is the one person who always made time to teach me how to make bows and arrows
and how to attach the feathers so the arrow would rotate while it was in
flight. One time I decided to try a shortcut and make an arrow without
feathers. But it would not fly for more than a few feet in a straight line or
steady arc, so from then on I followed his advice rather than questioned it.
Tedd showed me from which trees I could make the best bows and arrows. He also taught me how to chip flint arrowheads, but I was never the best at flint knapping, as he called it. I learned it was better to trade horsemeat with the older men for better arrowheads. Tedd also showed me how to string a bow correctly and how to properly affix a leather strap on my left arm so the bowstring would not cut my arm as I practiced hour after hour.
My next learning experience was fishing, which was not all that dangerous compared to hunting…unless you cannot swim. So, naturally, before I was allowed to fish I had to learn to swim. Later he taught me camping skills and the importance of keeping one or more fires going at night. Because of their natural fear of fire, this would keep dangerous animals away. I remember Tedd saying, “It is far smarter to keep bears and mountain lions away than to have to fight them off in the dark.” I never forgot that lesson.
The odd
thing about Tedd is that he was never considered a good hunter, yet he is such
a great teacher. Maybe it was because he was more interested in coming up with
new ideas and showing others how to do things instead of practicing his skills
to get better. I do not need new ideas. I
need practice so I do it continuously. I think that my son, Mikl, takes after
my uncle more than me. The boy always has new ideas. When my father was alive,
as strong a hunter and a fighter as he happened to be, he was always too busy
to teach me. This seemed strange to me. However, my uncle always had time.
My mind came
back to the task at hand, this hunt. At midday we stopped for a quick meal, but
never left the trail. I quickly ate my pemmican and motioned for everyone to move
forward again. Horses and
deer can be hunted in two ways. The first way is what we call drive hunting. Several
of us walk in a normal manner at a walking pace. We make just enough noise,
talking in a normal tone to move the herd forward. We refer to these hunters
as, drivers. They push the game forward to what we call the lead line of
hunters. Men in the lead line are a half mile or mile in front of the drivers and
remain hidden until the animals come to them.
The second
way to hunt large game is called position hunting. With this type of hunting, a
hunter in disguise stays well hidden from sight, and waits for the animal to
come to them, usually on a trail the animal uses regularly.
Position
hunting is done by one or two hunters and offers a kill of a single animal.
Driving horses or deer requires a large group of hunters, but offers the chance
to kill many animals. My plan for
this hunt is to have five drivers and nine lead line hunters. Drivers are not
usually in on the kill because the animals are being pushed forward and move
away from them. Their work is to move the horses toward the lead line, but not
to fully alarm them. They also have to stay alert in case a horse turns back
toward them in an effort to escape.
As the
drivers move forward, they have to sound natural. When horses hear their voices
they move ahead of the sound. Too much noise alarms them and they gallop from
sight or reverse direction. To our right is the northern edge of the grasses
where wolves prowl. Horses avoid the woods. To the left are open grasslands
which offer an escape if they run that way. Behind are the drivers and in front
are the lead hunters. Our methods allow us to cover three of the four directions
a horse can run.
We carry long bows and flint tipped spears with Atlatls for distance throwing. An Atlatl attaches to the end of the spear like a hand and in effect makes the thrower’s arm longer adding distance and power to the throw. It takes practice and strength, but once the skill is perfected, a hunter can throw a spear almost twice as far as normal. It is rare that a hunter has enough strength before the age of fourteen to master a spear and an Atlatl, so fourteen years of age is the usual cutoff date for a young man to become a full hunter.
Bruno is a year
older than I am and throws the Atlatl spear farther and better than anyone who has ever challenged him. At the summer
gatherings, he has been the best at it for as long as I can remember. Only one
man, a big Hungarian called Kraven, gives him a challenge, yet he has never
defeated Bruno in the Atlatl throw or at any of the strength contests.
Kraven is
not happy about losing to Bruno year after year and we know he will be well
prepared for next year’s summer gathering contests. Bruno is just too strong. I
am not a small man, but he towers over me and weighs a lot more than I weigh.
We wrestle and challenge each other on just about everything. He always wins
contests where strength is a factor. I win when it comes to expertise with the
bow. I practice more and rarely lose to anyone. When it comes to strength,
without a doubt, Bruno is the strongest man I have ever known.
One time
several years ago we were hunting a bear and it turned on us. I struck it with
my spear from a short distance, but the spear hit a shoulder bone and glanced
off. The bear was wild with rage and almost reached me, roaring and snarling.
The brown monster slashed at me with its massive claws as I tried to ready my
second spear.
It was about
to tear me apart when Bruno drove his spear deep into its chest and saved my
life. Mortally wounded it turned toward Bruno and I rammed my second spear into
its neck. Between the two of us and three other hunters, we finally killed
it. We have many memories like that one
and have been friends since we were kids.
I think of him as my older brother and I know he feels the same.
After a
successful hunt, we remove any parts of the horse we cannot use for food. Little
is wasted. We remove the head, lower legs and large bones to lighten the load
on the trip back. After butchering the meat we always have a feast of the best
parts, the tongue, the liver and heart and special cuts of meat. We empty the
intestines, but we save them for use in making pemmican for the next hunt.
If we kill one or two horses we carry the horse meat back to the village packed in horsehide sacks. When we have better luck and kill several we transport whole animals by tying their feet together at the knees and slip a pole between the legs. Now the whole carcass can be lifted off the ground and placed on the shoulders of the carriers. We usually have two people in the front and two people at the back carrying the ends of the pole. Bruno never needs help on his end. He lifts the front of the pole and leads the way. We rotate positions and move the poles from one shoulder to the other as we walk. Due to the weight, the return trip always takes longer than the trip going out.
My hunters
continue to walk all afternoon as the sun moves lower in the western sky. I
remember another experience with my uncle. When I was a boy I asked my uncle Ted
how he could make a lariat that was fifty feet long when a horse was on only
about eight or nine feet long. It seemed impossible. He was just about to start
making one and said, “Sit down Daven and watch. I will explain as I work.” This
could take all morning and I was wondered if I should have asked.
Tedd spread
a tanned horse hide on a flat plot of ground and took out his sharp flint knife.
He poked a hole in the middle of the hide and made a circle cut around the
hole. Then he continued the circle around the first circle and kept slicing in
a continuously larger and larger circle with the cuts never touching. Finally he reached the edge of the hide and
stood up holding one end of the circle. The hide became a long piece of leather
instead of a flat hide. It was still tangled in a circular design, but when Tedd
stretched it out it was about fifty feet long, just like he said it would be. He placed it in water and let it soak. The next day he stretched the leather strap
in the sun and held it down with a few rocks. When it dried, it was straight.
Our hunters
have tried to capture live horses with their lariats, but we have always
failed. We talk about it over fires during the winters. Getting a lariat over a
horse’s head has been done many times, but horses are so strong they easily
pull a hunter off his feet and drag him. When dragged even a short distance, a
hunter’s arms are cut by the grass and they have to let go or be sliced to
pieces. A few times there have been broken arms when a man was dragged over a
hidden rock. This time we will try again. We always try.
Our travel
so far has been over familiar trails. Main trails coming out of our village run
north and south along the river and east and west along the edge of the
grasslands. From these smaller trails others split off in many directions. For
the first day, we used our fast travel method of walking for a 1000 paces and
then running for 1000 paces. This gives us a much higher rate of speed than if
we only walk. We have done this for many years and we can maintain this pace
for a ten or twelve hour day and for many days.
As we leave the east to west trail, we enter five foot tall grass and the walk becomes more difficult and much slower. This is where horses live. With plenty of water and grass for fodder, they thrive. Their natural enemies, including hunters like us, have difficulty hunting them due to their sense of smell, their eyesight and their speed through the grasses. With these ideal conditions, the herds continue to grow. Wolves prowl the edges picking off the old and weak just as we did years ago, but not anymore.
The four young men I mentioned have passed the skills tests and are ready to take a position in the lead line, where the kills are made most often. Skills tests are bow and arrow tests at fifty paces plus spear and Atlatl throws. Lariat throws are included as part of their tests.
The most
difficult skill test for a new hunter to pass is what I call the panic test.
This test is where a hunter must launch four arrows into the air, before the
first arrow hits the ground. I still practice this skill when teaching them.
The beginning of the test is easy because the first arrow is already notched
and ready just like it would be on a hunt. The second arrow must be pulled from
your quiver on your back, notched and fired with a full pull of the bow as are the
third and fourth arrow.
A mistake
with any of the four arrows will cause the hunter to fail the test. If the
hunter does not take a full pull of the bow, the arrow will not launch high
enough and the first arrow will hit the ground before the fourth one is released. The hunter must concentrate on what he or she
is doing and fight off the tendency to rush or panic. This test is designed to
prepare them for hunting dangerous game.
At times a
stallion or a mare with a foal will run at a hunter in an attempt to escape. If
a hunter panics and runs away, they can easily be trampled. The hunter must
fight off his fear and continue to fire the second, third and fourth arrow at a
charging one thousand pound angry horse set on killing instead of being killed.
I have felt that same fear many times and have seen experienced hunters drop to
the ground in an attempt to hide or turn and run. When this happens, the horse
usually becomes the killer unless others in our group can take it down before
it reaches the runner. Most of the time it all happens too quickly and the
hunter is trampled. If a hunter is badly injured, they often do not survive the
return trip, because we have no medicine women on our hunts.
Among the
four new hunters are Flint
and Jon, twin sons of my good friend Bruno. Flint barely passed the four arrow panic test.
He did do well with the spear and Atlatl and scored accurately with the long
bow. I am concerned with his preparation, but Bruno assured me he is ready to
prove himself.
Another new
man is my son Mikl. He easily passed the long bow and panic tests and he does
well with the spear and Atlatl due to his size and upper body strength. Mikl
was born in the third month of the year so he is well past his fourteenth
birthday and is bigger and stronger than I was at the same age. He only lacks
practice. He is confident, maybe too confident.
The second twin son of Bruno is Jon, Mikl’s best friend. He also passed the tests without problems. Although they are identical twins and born the same day, Jon was born before Flint by a few minutes, not that it makes any difference. The fourth new hunter is Joe, a member of the Aurochs Clan headed by Janos. Joe is physically the smallest of the fourteen hunters with me today. I comment on his size only because three of the hunters are women, yet Joe is still smallest.
One person
who is taller and maybe stronger than Joe is his sister Agi. She is older than Joe
by two years and has proven herself on many previous hunts. I have my doubts
with Joe. He struggled during several skill tests. He gives in to panic and
probably should have waited another year until he was fifteen. His mother
pushed him because Agi already hunts and more likely, because his father died
while hunting horses years ago. Tomorrow will tell the story.
When a
hunter proves himself he can take a wife. Wives must always come from another
clan, never from your own clan. Many times wives are from other groups of
people with whom we trade at the summer gatherings. It is not as important for
women to pass hunting tests because only a few of them have any desire to be
hunters. Most women want to become wives and mothers and leave hunting to the
men.
I am
confident in my son Mikl as tomorrow approaches. I have to admit, I would like
to see him practice with his weapons more than he does. Maybe he practices less
because it comes too easily to him. He is good, but all of us can be better. I
constantly work to perfect my hunting skills while he is usually looking at
something new. He thrives on anything new.
As an
example, last year he spent a lot of time on a new idea for a bow that does not
seem to work. It was made of the same ash wood we make all our bows from so it
is not the wood itself. The piece he cut was from a tree that had a natural
second curve at one end. His thinking was that if a bow normally has one long
curve in the middle, an extra curve at the end should make it more powerful,
similar to a bow with an Atlatl at the end. He calls it a two-curve bow.
He finished
the bow and practiced with it. When the extra curve of the bow was at the top, it
drove the arrow into the ground. When
the second curve was at the bottom, the arrow flew too far over the target. He
was still working with it when we left for this hunt. Since the arrow cannot be
controlled, the bow seems to be useless. The thing that makes me wonder if it
has any value is that when he shoots an arrow at very close range, it drives
the arrow farther into the target than any other bow.
All these thoughts run through my mind as we walk forward pushing tall grass aside. The trail has become less distinct. I notice the manure on the ground has become fresh a sure sign the herds are close. The sun set as we arrived in one of our old camp sites, one that we have used before and we stopped for the evening.
This site is
a good one with fresh water and open ground offering us protection from
possible predators. With a group this large, it is unlikely any predator would
bother us. Just in case, I set two guards on opposite ends of the clearing.
Tomorrow morning we will move into position. It is not far now.
Robert L. Bacon
theperfectwrite.com
For serious authors, The Perfect Write® is now providing a
FREE Opening-Chapter Critique (material up to 5,000 words).
Paste your opening chapter to the body of an e-mail and send to :theperfectwrite@aol.com
(no attachments).
The Perfect Write® offers comprehensive editing services, from manuscript critiques to complete revisions, including line-editing, along with query letter design and composition. For pricing, send your project requirements to theperfectwrite@aol.com
Friday, November 23, 2012
"As Ye Sow"
Opening Chapter
by Tom Collins
Chapter 1
Starting her senior year at Royal
High School in Armagh, Ireland,
17-year-old Hanora Doyle was 5-foot 11-inches tall. She was afraid she would
never have a date, much less find a man to marry her. But, today, two years
later, with her head of thick, copper-colored hair covered by a white hat and
her face by a lacy veil, she stood before Father Grace and married 5-foot-9
Sean Flanagan. The day’s rain couldn’t spoil things for her. She was married.
It was the happiest time of her life.
After a two-day honeymoon in Dublin, the happy couple
moved into the back bedroom at the home of Sean’s parents.
“It’s just temporary, hon,” Sean
said. “I’ll do better now that I have you.”
They were married three months when
Hanora’s discovery filled her heart with joy. She was pregnant. But her joy and excitement soon faded as she
realized the living conditions that awaited her baby.
Their room was not much more than a
narrow space, enough for their bed and a chest of drawers and nothing else.
There was no mirror and only one small window. The walls stayed wet after every
rain, until the heat of the sun beat through the thin plaster and dried the
droplets that formed on them. I can’t let
my baby start life like this.
After a dinner of boiled ham and
cabbage, spoiled by the family's bickering and the coughing of Ol’ Mike, Sean’s
father, Hanora wanted some privacy, and her stomach warned her to get away from
the smell of dinner.
“Sean, want to take a walk?”
“Okay, hon, I’ll grab our jackets.”
A block away, a group of Irish brats,
throwing stones and yelling loud enough to wake the saints, spoiled their walk.
One of the kids noticed Sean and Hanora and ran over to them, yelling, “Penny
mister. Penny mister?”
The ragamuffin, a girl of around
nine or ten, had iodine splotches on her neck and face; an
attempt to control ringworm.
Hanora stopped, but Sean took her by
the arm and kept her moving.
The skinny child yelled to their
backs, “Up yours, the cheap fookers that ya are.”
Soon, Sandy Hill came into view, with
its larger houses, well-kept lawns and clean streets. They were nearing St.
Patrick’s Cathedral.
“I’ve something to tell you, Sean.”
“Let’s hear it.”
She gave his hand a squeeze, and
with a tender expression on her face she coyly looked away. There, beneath the magnificent twin
towers that protect the Celtic Cross of Saint Patrick, Hanora said, “I’m
pregnant.”
Sean took a deep breath. “I’m to be
a father?” He made the sign of the cross, “I’m to be a father? Dear God, I am
truly blessed.”
He put both arms around his Hanora,
looked lovingly into her eyes, and kissed her.
After the kiss she leaned back. Sean
saw the tenderness fade from her face, replaced by a sullen look.
She stared hard at him and said, “I
want better than the fookin streets of Armagh
for our baby.” She looked up at the huge cathedral
for a moment, closed her eyes. “Bye or girl, I’ve made up me mind,
it’ll be born in America.”
“America,” said Sean, as he released
his grip on her. “We canna’ afford a flat of our own here, how the hell are we
gonna’ get to America?”
“There’s got ta be a way. Me brother
did it, an if he found a way ta get there, so can we. I’m writing him.”
They turned toward home. At the
other side of the cathedral they saw a bedraggled lot waiting in line at the
side door.
Hanora nodded toward them and said,
“I’ll have no child of mine standing in line for a bowl of potato soup. Over in
America,
people are standing in line to see movin' pictures that talk, for crissake.”
Hanora squeezed his hand and they
walked on in silence for nearly a block. She stopped and faced him.
“I love you, Sean, and I’ll be a
good wife, but you’ve got to see this my way. Even if we could get our own
place, with what you earn here it’d be just another rat hole. No . . . we’re
going to America.”
With steel in her voice, she repeated, “Yeah hear me, luv? One way or another,
we’re going to America.”
As they walked, he saw the set of
Hanora’s chin and the determined look on her face. He felt sorry for her. There
was no way they would ever get to America.
*
* *
Back in their room, Hanora got her
tablet and pencil, sat on the lumpy bed, and wrote a pleading letter to her
brother. The next morning she waited out front to hand it to the postman.
Three weeks later a reply from her
brother, Marty Doyle, arrived. She took it into the bedroom and closed the
door. At the window, with trembling hands, she opened it. As she unfolded what
was a single page, a check fluttered to the floor. She retrieved it and
clutched to her breast. Then she dropped to her knees and with tears in her
eyes said a Hail Mary.
Her older brother had written a
short note that said he was happy to help out and anxious to have his baby
sister in Chicago
with him. But the check covered only their passage. The money they needed for
incidentals was scraped together by their clan and from the help of a priest at
St. Patrick’s.
They obtained their passports, and
after the Christmas holiday was over, Hanora packed for their departure. All
they owned fit in two suitcases.
Sean was apprehensive about moving
so far from family, but he accepted the fact that Hanora would lead him
forever.
*
* *
Sean stayed in his bunk, seasick
most of the voyage. Hanora spent as much time on deck as she could. She loved
the sapphire color of the cold Atlantic Ocean,
and she inhaled deeply of the oft-swirling winds. She never tired of the
endless rolling waves. The swaying of the boat reminded her of being lulled in
her mother’s arms. Most of all, the ocean and the sky were clean, and the salt
air gave her a heady feeling she enjoyed. Hanora knew the great ocean blessed
her and would make her unborn child strong and healthy.
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Thursday, July 19, 2012
"The Devil's Backbone"
Opening Chapter
By James Babb
Brody came in from the evening chores. His Momma
fretted around the kitchen, passing back and forth in front of the glowing
cracks in the potbelly stove. He breathed deeply through his nose, expecting
the scent of meat cooking, but found no such smell.
“Time to
eat?” he asked.
Momma
untied her brown apron and laid it on the counter next to her, but remained
silent.
He went to
the table, sat down, and waited. Daddy’s boots thumped on the wooden porch
outside. The sound stopped, only to be replaced with a rhythmic rapping on the
wall. Brody didn’t get up to answer the door because Dad always removed his
boots, banged them against the wall to knock the dust off, and then left them
outside until the next morning. This time, the banging carried on longer than
normal.
“Why don’t
he stop?” Brody asked.
Momma
sighed, but didn’t turn away from the wash-pan. “Got things on his mind,” she
whispered.
The wooden
lever on the door rattled and Dad came in.
Momma
turned. “Anything?” she asked him. Black strands of hair had come loose from
her bun and rested against her cheek. Mother normally kept her hair perfect,
but not today. This caused Brody to study her face closer. She had sunken eyes
and wrinkles, something he had never noticed before.
Dad rubbed
a troubled hand across the stubble on his chin. “Nothing.” He sat at the table
and looked at the boy. “Brody.”
“Yes sir,”
he answered.
Dad took
his dusty hat off, pushed his brown hair back, and then repositioned the hat.
“Tater needs brushed.”
“But I
already brushed my pony.”
“Son.”
Dad’s tone warned him not to argue.
“Yes sir,”
Brody said on his way out the door. “Have it done in a jiffy.”
Brody knew
why he had been sent out. Grown-ups liked to talk alone. He closed the door
behind him, but immediately ducked around the corner. The thin chinking between
the logs on the old house did little to muffle the conversation.
Dad
coughed. “It hasn’t rained in weeks. The crops died.”
“All of
‘em?” Momma asked.
“It’s all
brown.”
Dishes
clinked together. “Jim, what are we gonna do? It’s mid-July and we’re outta
food.”
Dad sighed.
“Well-”
Momma
interrupted. “We’re out of money, and we need somthin’ to eat.”
“I hunted
all mornin’,” Dad said. “The game is scarce. They’re feelin’ the pinch too.”
“This is
not a pinch,” Momma argued. “We’re in trouble.
Brody
pressed against the rough logs and heard his dad’s chair scoot across the wood
floor. “I can go to Fort Smith.
Maybe there’s work.”
Momma’s
voice rose. “There’s no work, and how would you get there? On Brody’s little pony?”
“I’ll
walk,” Dad said.
“It would
take you days. It won’t work.” She remained quiet for a moment. “You could’ve
taken the old horse, if you hadn’t killed it.”
“We had to
eat,” he said.
Brody
clutched his gut. His father had told him the farm horse ran off. We ate
him? Brody thought. He took a step back, lowered his head, and stuck his
hands in his pockets. The thought of eating horse meat twisted his stomach
around.
The
conversation inside continued. “Jim, we can’t last long enough for you to go to
Fort Smith.”
“Maybe we
should all go,” Dad suggested.
“You and I
ain’t eaten in days, Jim. I don’t know bout you, but I don’t have the strength
to walk for close to a week.”
Brody
leaned closer to the wall. Not eaten? He thought about the past few days.
Momma had cooked for him, but he now realized he had not seen her or his father
eating.
“Brody will
be back any minute,” Dad said. “Let’s sleep on it, pray about it. We’ll find a
solution in the mornin’.”
“Jim, we
moved here in eighteen seventy-seven. We’ve been lookin’ for a solution for
three years.”
Brody heard
the booming sound of his dad’s calloused hand slapping the table. “It’s the
best I can do.”
Brody ran
to the barn and quickly brushed Tater while he pondered on things. Was it his
fault? Had he eaten more food than he should have? He patted Tater on the side.
The pony’s ribs stood out under Brody’s fingers. “You’re safe,” he said.
“There’s barely any meat on ya.”
Brody put the brush up, and closed the barn
door. The red sunset cast the last of its glow across the rolling hills in
front of their property. He paused and looked toward the dark woods behind his
house. There had to be some kind of game animals left in there.
A lit
candle sat on the table. He took it and walked across the creaky floor. Brody
stopped at his parent’s bedroom doorway and could hear Momma crying softly.
“You okay?”
he asked.
Dad’s voice
came from the dark bedroom. “Come here.”
Brody went
inside. In the dim light from the candle he could see his Dad’s strong arms holding
Momma. Dad shifted, and held out a welcoming arm to Brody. The boy went over
and Dad pulled him close. Momma took the candle and set it on the nightstand.
They shared a family hug, longer than normal.
“Everything’s
fine,” Dad said. “Go get some rest.”
Brody
wanted to tell them he had overheard the conversation, but thought Dad might be
mad on account of the eavesdropping. He kissed Momma on the check, and then
headed to his room.
Brody
rolled and tossed, and though he tried, sleep avoided him. His stomach growled
with hunger. If he felt this bad after only going a day without food, then he
couldn’t imagine how hungry his parents must be. They needed food and he felt
responsible. There just had to be game left in the woods.
My spot,
Brody thought. He didn’t try my spot. Brody had found a wonderful area a
year earlier, but kept it a secret. He never told his father about it because
Brody wasn’t supposed to be that far from home. He had seen three deer in the
secret hollow the year before, but couldn’t get a shot at any of them. This
time would be different.
He started
constructing the plan in his head. He knew he would get in trouble, but it
would be worth it. Brody drifted to sleep, thinking of how excited his parents
would be when he returned with something to eat.
He woke
early, lit a lantern, and got dressed. Instead of doing his morning chores,
Brody rushed to the corner where they kept the guns. Dad had gotten up earlier
than him and had taken the rifle. It only left Brody with the old flintlock his
grandfather had left them when he died. Brody had used it before. The pitted
barrel made the gun hard to load, but it still shot straight.
He gathered
the wadding, balls, and bag of powder. A leather pouch hung on the wall, so he
grabbed it and threw the stuff inside. He found his jacket and big hunting
knife, and then went to the front door. It creaked as it swung open, so he
paused and listened, making sure his dad had left.
Brody put
his jacket on, eased the door shut behind him, and then headed to the barn.
Tater tried turning his head to keep Brody from putting the bridle on, but it
didn’t work. After he finished, Brody found a leather bag hanging from a post.
He tied his bag to it with a short piece of rope, and then threw them across
Tater’s back. He crawled up, and even though Brody weighed no more than a sack
of corn, Tater still grunted.
Brody
buttoned his jacket. “Let’s get goin’,” he said. “The sun is risin’ and we’ve a
long way to go.”
He kicked
his pony’s sides and they were on their way. The cool morning air instantly
started the boy’s eyes watering, but he did not care. His special hunting spot
would provide. He just knew it.
He kept
Tater at a trot. The first hour of daylight could sometimes be the best time to
hunt, and the thought of missing it angered him. Brody made his way up a long
ridge. After going down a slope, they went through a grove of cedars. The
prickly green limbs rubbed against his clothes and coated him with the smell of
fresh cedar.
After
leaving the cedars, they crossed over two smaller ridges, and then arrived at
the old wagon trail that led to his secret spot. The trail had not been
traveled by wagon for many years. Large saplings and brush grew in its middle.
Tater settled into the path’s depression where countless wild animals had
traveled, and trotted along.
The oaks
towered above them. Winter’s leftover leaves crunched under Tater’s hooves.
Brody slowed him to a walk to keep from spooking any game. A large, low hanging
branch blocked the old path. It looked like a good place to stop, so Brody
climbed down, and then tied Tater to the limb. He patted the speckled gray hair
on the pony’s shoulder, retrieved the gun and packs, and then eased down the
side of the point.
About
halfway down the gentle slope, Brody found an oak tree with a large root that
curled around. It formed a perfect sitting spot. He raked the leaf litter out
of the way and settled in.
He opened
the pack and took a quick inventory. There were about twenty balls, lots of
wadding, and a large bag of black powder. He knew his dad kept the flintlock
loaded. He just had to prime the pan. Brody reached into the bag for the powder
flask, but it wasn’t there. He had forgotten it. The task of filling the pan
would be hard without it, but he felt he could do it.
He untied
the bag of powder, and then balanced the gun across his knees. Brody managed to
load the pan without spilling very much. He sat the powder between his legs,
and cocked the hammer all the way back. The time for waiting had come.
The birds
woke, flew from tree to tree, and chirped. A squirrel jumped onto a branch
above him, sending down a shower of morning dew. Brody ignored the cool drops
and entertained the idea of taking a shot at the tree rat, but then figured he
could not hit it up in the tree anyway. But, if the thing ventured down to the
ground, Brody knew he would give it a try. While he waited, his mind drifted.
Memories,
good memories, of his first fourteen years and much better times kept his
thoughts busy, until a twig snapped in the hollow below. Brody sat a little
straighter and got ready. The echo of old leaves crunching sent his heart
racing. The boy’s secret spot had not failed him.
Deep in the
hollow, a shadow moved. The figure came around a large tree and stepped into
the sun’s morning rays. A deer. Life had been hard on the skinny animal. Its
ribs pushed against its hide. The deer stood motionless for a long time, but
its ears twitched constantly.
Brody’s
mind raced with the pace of his heart. The excitement of the hunt and promise
of food overtook him. He knew there would be enough meat to feed his family for
a week, maybe more. Brody eased his knees up, to give him a good rest for the
shot. He waited until the deer lowered its head. Then, Brody rested his elbows
on his knees and brought the butt of the gun to his shoulder. His hands shook
with deer fever.
The deer
fed along, coming closer with each step. The dry leaf litter announced its
every move. It stopped fifty steps away, threw its head up, and looked around.
Brody froze
and strained to keep from blinking.
The deer
stomped its foot, a sure sign it had caught his scent. Brody knew he would have
to take the shot now. He peered down the long barrel, lined the sight up, and
pulled the trigger. The gun kicked hard and smoke filled the air. Brody thought
he heard the deer running, but couldn’t see through the white cloud. He turned
the flintlock on its side, and then heard something hissing between his legs.
Brody
looked down in time to see that a spark of burning powder had fallen into the
bag he had neglected to close. In an instant, a searing, orange flash of
exploding gun powder shot up. The blast hit him square in the face, and Brody
sucked in a surprised breath. His eyes, mouth, throat, and whole head burned.
The boy
slapped at his face and rolled on the ground. Brody’s voice cracked with each
attempted scream. The remnants of burning powder covered the inside of his
mouth and throat. His face stung all over, but his eyes worst of all. The smell
of burnt hair filled the air. He tumbled, flopped, and prayed the whole time
for it to cease.
Brody
stopped flailing long enough to realize there were no flames, only pain.
Intense pain. He opened his mouth and cried, but the salty tears burned his
cheeks. He tried to cry louder, even louder than the time the horse kicked him,
but his sobs were silent. The scorched vocal cords in his throat no longer
worked. A tingling feeling ran up Brody’s legs, and then he passed out.
Sometime
later, he woke. The pain had lessened to a dull throb that kept time with his
heartbeat. Brody guessed he had been out for awhile. The hot, stiff breeze told
him the stillness of the morning had passed.
He sat up
and tried to open his eyes. Brody cracked one of his lids slightly, but
everything remained dark.
I’m
blind!
A panic
rushed over him. He rolled onto his side and touched his face. It hurt, but
Brody ran his fingers over it anyway. Leaves were stuck to his burnt skin. He
cringed and brushed them away.
He found
that his face didn’t feel like his anymore. Brody’s eyes and lips were swollen,
almost shut. He had no eyebrows and some of his hair had burned away.
Brody
gritted his teeth, and pressed one of his eyelids upward. The pain kept him
from holding it there long. Nothing. No hint of sight. He staggered up onto
weak legs, and held his hands out in front. He had to get to Tater.
After three
or four cautious steps, Brody stopped. He knew he should be walking up hill,
but wasn’t. The boy turned and eased forward. His hands brushed against the
rough bark of an oak tree. Brody leaned against it for a moment, and then
continued in a small circle. He felt no rise in the lay of the land. During his
throws of pain, Brody had rolled to the bottom of the hollow.
He paused
and tried to think past his throbbing face. Three ridge points emptied into the
bottom. That’s what made it such a good hunting spot, but that very thing had
Brody in big trouble. He had to pick the correct ridge, he had three choices,
and he couldn’t see any of them.
Brody sat
on the ground and rocked back and forth. Dad will come, he thought. No
he won’t, his mind argued back. Dad doesn’t know where you are. No one
does. You snuck out and didn’t leave a note.
Brody
punched the ground. He ran his hands through the leaves until he found a rock.
He threw it, and then hit the ground with his fist again. After the tantrum, he
got back on his feet and took a deep breath. He had to find the pony.
His first
ten steps were slow. The next ten came quicker. After that, Brody couldn’t seem
to slow down. He kept his hands out, feeling his way from tree, to nothing, to
tree again. His breath came hard. The land began to rise under his feet,
bringing a small amount of excitement to Brody. He had found a ridgeline. He
scrambled up, swinging his arms wildly in front.
The boy ran
into a limb and it slapped him in the face. He clutched his head with both
hands and went to his knees in a crumpled heap of pain. Brody’s chest heaved,
trying to draw in more air. He attempted to cry out, but his voice made no
sound. Brody struggled for another breath, but it barely came. He moved his
shaking hands to his neck. The boy’s tortured throat had swollen shut. A
ringing in his ears turned into the crunching of old leaves.
The
chirping of crickets and buzzing of locust woke him. He listened to the
constant noise for a moment while his thoughts cleared.
I’ve got
to find Tater, he thought.
Brody sat
up and fought off another bout of panic. After calming down, he tried to think.
The swelling in his throat had mostly gone away, allowing him to breathe
normally again, but running into the limb had made his face hurt even worse.
Brody knew
the sun had either just set, or would soon. The crickets always came alive in
the evenings. He knew the day was dying, because their annoying chirps sounded
all around. The air had cooled, but not considerably. Late evening had come and
Brody knew his dad would be mad and worried by now.
He
staggered back to his feet and continued up the ridge. Each time his hands
found a tree, he used it to steady himself. He pulled on a small sapling and it
cracked. Brody ran his hand down its length, until he felt the break. He yanked
on it until the last bit of sinuous fibers broke free. He swung the stick
around and it smacked into a tree. This’ll work, he thought.
The boy
kept his pace quick, but unrushed, hoping to avoid another swelling episode. He
kept moving the stick side to side. More than once, it stopped him from running
into another limb.
The pony
would get him home, if he could just find him. A loud whistle usually prompted
Tater to neigh. Brody tried it, but the attempt only brought him pain. Another
hundred steps had Brody sweating. A drop ran down from his hairline and burned
his raw forehead.
The ground
leveled out, telling Brody he had reached the top. He eased along while
dragging his feet, feeling certain he could find the old wagon trail. The
number of steps ticked away in Brody’s head.
Twenty-nine.
Thirty. Too many. I should’ve crossed the path by now.
Brody shook
his head. He had picked the wrong ridge point and knew what had to happen. He
would have to go back down and find the next one. Such a long way, he
thought. Dejected, Brody sat against a tree and rested.
In a
desperate bid for help, he tried to call out. The air escaping his throat did
nothing but hiss. The boy slapped the side of his leg in frustration.
An owl
hooted down in the hollow, a certain sign it would be dark soon.
Brody
pushed one of his swollen eyelids up again. Nothing. A mosquito buzzed in his
ear. He started to swat at it, but froze when he heard Tater neigh. The sound
echoed and Brody could not pinpoint it. He cupped a hand behind his ear and
waited.
Yes, oh
yes, just one more time, he thought. He wished with all his might for Tater
to make another sound. Are ya on the left ridge, or right?
Something
growled in the bottom below. Brody sucked in a quick breath, and the hairs on
his arms and neck stood tall. The animal let out a scream. A woman could not
have out done it. Brody squirmed around to the other side of the tree. He had
heard a wildcat before. Apparently Tater had too. During the commotion, the
pony squealed. Hoof-beats sounded, and the boy knew Tater had broken loose. He
could only hope the panther followed the pony. He wished Tater no ill, but if
he had to choose the pony or himself… Brody tried not to think about it.
The boy’s
very core shook with tension. He couldn’t hear the cat and it worried him. They
were sneaky. It could be anywhere. Brody wanted to run and hide, but decided to
stay put and remain silent. He thought if he were completely still, maybe it
would not notice him.
All sense
of time left him. He wasn’t sure if ten minutes had passed, or thirty. His legs
cramped, making him want to change positions, but he could not risk the noise
it would make.
Slowly, the
woods came alive with things rustling in the leaves. At first, the boy’s heart
skipped, but he soon realized the noises were too small. Even the padded feet
of a wildcat would be louder than this. He decided coons and opossums were
probably making the small sounds. At least he hoped he was right.
Brody’s leg
pain worsened, until he couldn’t wait any longer. He shifted. A small stick
cracked under his weight and the leaves crunched softly. He waited for the terrible
attack to come, but it didn’t.
Hours
passed. Three? Four? He did not know for sure. Regardless, the night wore on,
and sleep soon called to him. Not being able to open his eyes made it even
harder to stay awake, but Brody knew better than to drift off with a panther
creeping about.
The owl
hooted again, this time from a different place in the bottom. Brody jolted at
the sound, and then pulled his jacket tight around his neck. Far in the
distance, another owl answered. Its call carried on and the boy desperately
wanted the sound to change, and become his father’s voice yelling for him.
A blue-jay
screeched its warning. The bird’s call quickly told Brody two things. Morning
had come, and the jay wanted him to leave. He didn’t remember falling asleep.
Brody didn’t even remember lying down.
The cool
night air had felt good on his burned skin, but the day’s warm breeze brought
discomfort. He made his way down the ridge, moving through the shadows cast
from the massive trees, knowing each time the sun hit his skin. The heat from
the rays doubled the pain from his burns. Though it hurt, he tried glancing
toward the sun, to see if he could detect a glow through his eyelids. Still
nothing.
He lowered
his head, sighed, and continued swinging the stick. If he did make it home, he
would be blind forever, nothing but an additional burden for his family. Brody
had set out to make things better, but only made it worse, much worse.
He paused occasionally and listened to make
sure nothing followed. Brody could not help worrying about the wildcat. His
steps quickened. It would not be wise to spend another night in the hollow.
He stumbled
and shuffled his way across, tripping and falling more than once. His shoulder
muscles burned from holding the stick out. Finally, the ground rose again. He
walked left, and the land sloped down. He went back over and to the right. The
ground dropped. Brody prayed this would be the correct ridge.
Forty steps
up, left him exhausted. He sat and rested. Brody’s legs ached and his head
throbbed. A terrible hunger came from his empty stomach. The lining of his
mouth and throat were much too raw to eat anything, but the thought of cool
water teased him. He ached for a drink.
At
sixty-two additional steps, the land started to level off. Brody drug his feet,
but did not feel the trail. The thought of having to go back into the bottom to
look for the third ridge did not sound good. This had to be the right one. He
got down on his knees and crawled, feeling his way along the top of the knoll.
A bug squirmed between his fingers, and Brody jerked his hand back. After a
moment, the boy moved on, searching the ground carefully.
At last,
his hands fell into a slight depression. He paused, crawled one way, and then
the other. The indention continued. Relief washed over him. He had found the
wagon trail. Left would lead him toward home. He stood, centered his feet on
the path, held the stick out in front, and eased along. His best guess put him
almost four miles from home. It would be a long, slow walk.
He wondered
what his dad would think when Tater came home without him. Brody hoped Dad
could follow the pony’s back-trail. It would at least show him the direction
the boy had gone. Brody stopped walking for a moment. The thought occurred to
him that perhaps Dad had found their original trail. He could already be on his
way. Brody shook his head. He had taken Tater across two ridges where there was
no trail. It would be almost impossible for anyone to track them through there.
Brody moved
slowly, making sure to stay on the path.
One
hundred and sixty-four. A bird fluttered in a tree close by. The crow
blurted its scolding cry and flew away.
A few
seconds later, Brody’s stick hit something hard next to the trail. He ran his
hands around the object. His fingers told him it was an old log. Time for a
rest, he thought. Just for a little while.
After he
began walking again, the trail started downward and Brody’s hopes lifted. He
had made progress. He tried to picture the way. After reaching the bottom, he
would need to turn right and cross over two ridges. After that, the cedar grove
would be the next challenge to find. During his thoughts, Brody lost count of
the steps. He gave up on remembering the correct number and started over. He
wasn’t sure why he counted them, other than it kept his mind busy and helped
give him a rough, mental map.
Ninety-seven.
Something sharp cut across his hand. Brody pulled back, and it snagged the skin
on his fingers. Briars.
The thorny
stalks were nothing new to the farm boy. He had picked his way through many
briar patches, but this one worried Brody more than any other. He had not come
through this area with Tater.
The boy
backed up, went to his knees, and felt the ground. His hands found the trail’s
indention easily. It led straight into the briar patch. Brody’s head drooped.
He had not lost the path. He had followed the wrong one. Right there, in the
middle of the woods, at the edge of a thorny patch, he fell apart. The thought
of going back and having to find the correct ridge broke the boy down. He
curled up on the ground and sobbed. Without a parched throat, Brody’s cries
would have scared the animals for miles, but his silent sobs went unnoticed.
A deep
rumble of thunder rolled across the land and shook him out of his pity. The
wind stiffened and weaved its way between the limbs above. Leaves fluttered and
another round of thunder came. High in the trees, a few lonely raindrops
smashed into the broad leaves.
Brody
stood, and then moved back up the trail. At twenty-eight steps, he strayed from
the path until his stick smacked a tree. The first one felt too small, so he
kept going. Brody needed a huge tree with lots of branches to protect him from
the rain.
At nine
careful strides, uneasiness came over him. He couldn’t go too far, or he would
have trouble getting back to the trail. Brody failed to complete the tenth
step. The ground disappeared from under his feet and he toppled over an edge.
His mind barely had enough time to grasp his dire situation before hitting the
ground.
His right
foot smashed into the earth first and a searing pain shot up Brody’s leg. His
hip and shoulder hit next. The boy tried to cry out, but couldn’t. The impact
had knocked the breath out of him.
Brody’s
lungs finally filled and his head cleared. He shifted, trying to see if
anything could be broken. He tried to roll onto his side, but his injured ankle
was tangled in something. Brody reached for his foot, only to find the force of
the fall had lodged his right leg between a tree root and a large rock. Brody
took a deep breath and pulled. It did not work. He let go and his hands shook
uncontrollably.
Lightening
struck close by and every muscle in Brody’s body jumped. His sudden movement
told him the location of every bruise. He twisted his ankle, trying to free it,
but he could not handle the pain.
Brody tried
to open his eyes, but his lids would not budge. He found the swelling had gone
down, but his eyelids felt like they had healed shut, or been glued together.
He pried at them, fought through the tearing pain, and finally managed to open
one, and then the other.
Rain drops,
larger than any he had ever felt, pelted him all over. The musty smell of wet
leaves filled the air. Rolling thunder and the roar of rain kept Brody from
hearing anything else. He opened his mouth, attempting to coat his raw throat
with water, but then stopped. Brody found it hard to believe his situation
could be worse. He had no strength left. His will broken.
Let it
come, he thought. Let my last day find me here.
Sometime
later, the rain stopped, and Brody’s sprits lifted. He placed his free foot
against the tree root and pushed. It did not work, and Brody huffed from the
effort. Hours tumbled past. Exhaustion took over, and his body begged for rest.
Let me
find a way out, he prayed.
The rain
had brought cooler air, which started the crickets early. When the annoying
noise stopped dead, Brody took note. Something growled to his left, and he
jerked his head toward the sound.
Brody held
his breath and listened. Lingering drops fell from the trees and splattered on
the ground. The crickets started again and he began to wonder if he had
imagined it.
He tried
pulling on his leg again. His pants were soaked and the moisture must have
helped. Brody’s foot came free, but he winced in pain.
A loud hiss
sounded, at the base of the bluff. Brody’s heart fluttered. It was the panther.
It had to be._______________________________________________________________
Robert L. Bacon
theperfectwrite.com
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